An Inaugural Protest

I say, look here, this is entirely too much. For months I have stalwartly avoided this topic, aloof from the frenzy unleashed online, but enough is enough. The state of politics (which I still promise my loyal readers will never broach these hallowed posts), has gotten beyond a joke, and I am become what I never wished to be: serious. This blog was meant to be a source of amusement (my own), and a sparkling collection of human folly; I had been confident that the twenty-first century would provide me ample material. But now the line has been crossed, and people’s behavior is simply unfunny.    Continue reading

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Dialogue

Webster: Should I try to act normal?

Algernon: You’re capable of acting normal?

Webster: Well, it’s more of a suppression of my natural personality until the average, unobservant person doesn’t think to notice. In fact, if I just don’t speak, it can actually work quite well.

Hello, Dali!

The region where I live — a normally peaceable realm where birds sing, the sun shines, and summers maintain a blissful eighty-odd degrees with light breezes — is in the midst of a heat wave. Besides feeling cheated of their expected temperate June, the citizens are baffled: how long will it go on, when it shouldn’t be happening at all? Yours Truly, gazing out into the heat, equally baffled, realised the world had become a Surrealist landscape. Continue reading

Master of My Domain

What-ho Gentle Readers!

A brief but pivotal post to update you all that wickedwitofthewest.com is now mine, all mine, bwa ha ha. Have no fear, the initial address using .wordpress.com will still and always work, and no upset to your following or feeds will arise. I am simply amused to be the Master of My Own Domain; in the electronic eyes of the internet I am now officially the Wicked Wit of the West. So in case your day was lacking in Wit, or you recommend this blog to some unsuspecting reader, it should be simplicity itself to either find or remember. Ta-da!

L’esprit de l’escalier

For those unfamiliar with the expression, it is the sensation of realising the perfect thing to say, too late: the retort that only comes on the stairs on the way out, the graceful topic or sparkling joke that you think of the next morning. For those unfamiliar with the sensation: lucky devils. We the hapless can only watch you wistfully. “Ha!” I hear you scoff, Gentle Reader. “You don’t seem to have any trouble with words; god knows you use enough of them”. But no. Continue reading

Blogger’s Remorse

I woke with a weighty sensation — I was united in holy matrimony with a brand new blog and wasn’t sure if I could handle the commitment. Considering that I have had something to say on every subject since the dawn of time, one would think that a forum for saying whatever I want, whenever I want would be a soft snap. But no, talking is easy, writing is work. And I have spent a lifetime in skilful avoidance of work. I could say it started innocently, but in fact, it happened in a rush.  Continue reading