I say, look here, this is entirely too much. For months I have stalwartly avoided this topic, aloof from the frenzy unleashed online, but enough is enough. The state of politics (which I still promise my loyal readers will never broach these hallowed posts), has gotten beyond a joke, and I am become what I never wished to be: serious. This blog was meant to be a source of amusement (my own), and a sparkling collection of human folly; I had been confident that the twenty-first century would provide me ample material. But now the line has been crossed, and people’s behavior is simply unfunny.
I have spent months skillfully ignoring news articles about the election, social media about the election, conversations about the election, rants about the election, threats about the election, conspiracies about the election, infographics about the election, indeed everything but the election itself, repressing my fervent thoughts of “Get over it”, in favor of civilized discussion. But I relaxed my vigilance too soon. Now it seems that human beings are taking to the streets to protest that a world leader has been democratically elected in a free country. This is not amusing; I imagine that citizens in South Africa and Iran would find it baffling. Some people consider that they lost an election—I consider that too many have lost perspective. Even the New Yorker cartoons are too serious to be funny, and that, fellow Americans, is a dark day indeed.
I beg that we get back to what we are good at: cheerful optimism and problem-solving. (How can we laugh at anything when we are taking ourselves so seriously?). For years there has been comment that Americans are feeling increasingly divided ideologically— even to the point of family members becoming angered and friends estranged for having different political views. A new Civil War is being fought in Facebook posts and Twitter feeds, and this time the casualties seem to be listening, respect, and sense of humor. (And grammar, but I shall save my wrath on that for another post). The excess of communication, much of it loud and violent, is serving to shut down dialogue; this election is a heightened, but not unique example.
And so I protest, fellow Americans. [For optimum effect, cue “America, the Beautiful” softly in the background]. I protest this grim seriousness and repeated harping without originality. I protest normally civilized people, people one would never have imagined, suddenly bursting into public vitriol. I protest that the only words spelled correctly online are swear words, and that one can only be sure because of their proliferation. Let us remember what our country is really about: entertainment. Let us return to what we are profoundly skilled at: enjoying ourselves. And if we are to keep watching the news, let it be in search of amusement!
Enough. The Wicked Wit will now turn to other subjects.